Oh Dear, I can’t pronounce that!

Mall
You wouldn’t think this was a hard one, but apparently “Mall” is said in a particularly American way. I was used to saying Mall as in Pall Mall in London. There’s no such thing as a shopping mall in England, they’re all shopping centres.  In the US Mall is pronounced with an ‘R” in there somewhere, don’t ask me where, I couldn’t tell you, but it’s something similar to “Marrl.” I tend to say Mawwl.

Law
Working in a law office, this sometimes gets a bit frustrating (not for me, but for those I work with). Answering the phone and saying Law Offices comes out as “Lore Roffices.”  I have been asked why I pronounce it like that, but I have no answer.  In American speak it is said more like “lahh,” but I can’t make that sound, no matter how much I try. So Lore Roffices it is.  Try it, I bet if you’re British, you can’t do it either.

Yes, I did just go there.  I cannot make these two words sound different.  I can only say “Porn.”  Somehow, Americans can change the two words and have them sound like “Porrrn” and “Pawwwwn.” So this is a tricky one. You don’t want to tell someone you were watching “Pawn Stars” on the telly and have them think you were watching actual porn stars! Or that you are going to the porn shop to see what they’ve got (not that I’ve ever been into a ‘pawn’ shop, mind you). [A ‘porn’ shop, however, is another story *blush*]. I think it is physically impossible for a British tongue to make them sound like different words. And I know you are trying it now..

There are obviously the words they always pronounce wrong – Worcestershire [Warrr-Sest-Err-Shy-Err] Sauce being the funniest.  But then there’s the other Shires (not sheers), which they say like something out of Lord of the Rings (Wilt-SHY-ERR, Bedford-SHY-ERR, etc). Not to mention Glass-Cow (Glasgow), Moss-Cow (Moscow) and Edin-Burrrrr/Edin-Bro (Edinburgh) . Tsk, tsk.

Having been watching a lot of sport recently [what World Cup? – no comment] I am sick of hearing OOru-gway and then there was Bosnia-Hertzagavna. Oh, and then there’s also “Wimbley” that finest of all English footballing venues!

But the worst one, the one that drives me absolutely batty, and they use this on the news, on the radio, in commentary and even people I work with say it … Wimble-TON. Oh good grief! There’s a “D” in that word, not a flippin’ “T.” I’ve even heard it with a sneaky “P” in there… “Wimpleton.”

Every year, it drives me crazy all over again. So America, Please, please, please say it right, why can’t you??? Wim-Bul-DON!!

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