Wouldn’t it be lovely to live in a big house up in the Hollywood Hills?
I think many people have had this thought at least once in their life. Especially if you live in Los Angeles, as the houses up there overlook most of the city.
The last few weeks I have got to live out this dream as I am house/pet-sitting for a friend. Whilst it is certainly a lovely setting and it would be so easy to make you envious with a long list of how amazing it all is, I thought it would be more fun and perhaps make you feel a little better if I shared a few of the downsides of life in the Hills. For starters, you can’t just pop to the shop to grab a pint of milk – it’s a 20 minute minimum round trip in the car! There are no sidewalks up here, so it is quite a challenge when walking the dog. It entails dodging in and out of the parked cars or trespassing on the neighbors’ lawns. Even my canine companion gets a little frustrated, as it is far too steep to have a leisurely stroll.
I had always imagined privacy, peace and tranquility was the main appeal for the residents of the Hollywood Hills. Little did I know it would be more like Piccadilly Circus! Contrary to popular belief, the Hills are bustling with activity day and night. step outside any street in the up here and there is an abundance of people ready to greet you.
Monday brings the first visitor of the week in the form of the ‘pool guy’ who cleans and stirs the water making sure it keeps its Hollywood dazzle. On Tuesday I get to meet Mani the exterminator who is wandering around the garden spraying for pests. In England the only pests we seem to get are the occasional TV presenter, but up here we have to keep an eye out for snakes and poisonous spiders! He informs me that the Brown Recluse spider is very rare in California but to watch out for Black Widows. He also kindly removes a dead rat that has fallen out of one the palm trees. This turns out to be a common occurrence in ‘them thar hills’; the city even have a free dead animal pickup service listed on their website! Tuesdays and Wednesday also seem to be popular with local realtors. They buzz the intercom to tell me that the market is booming and they have buyers for the house. Which explains the constant construction sites springing up everywhere. The current trend seems to be buy a nice house, knock it down and replace it with a modern monstrosity that overshadows all the neighboring properties. This also brings a plethora of food trucks to feed all the hungry builders, which then tends to create a traffic jam that would put the M25 to shame.
The rest of the week is filled with visits from the gardeners, the security patrol company and the housekeeper. So it is pretty rare that you actually get the house to yourself. I’ve had more privacy at the supermarket on Oscar night (FYI one of the best times to shop) At night you can often hear the sounds of a party echoing through the air. The finale is announced by the roar of the Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Maseratis racing down the hill triggering the alarms of the parked cars as they swoosh by. Which then set off the neighborhood dogs, who are joined by the howling coyotes. Just when you think you will finally get to sleep the birds start their dawn chorus. This is a sure sign that the leaf blowers will be back in the next hour or so.
The weekend is not much better, as that brings the tour buses full of out-of-towners hoping to spot Ricardo Montabalban (not knowing he died six years ago), but apparently Weird Al Yankovic lives a few doors up so they still have a glimmer of hope in return for the $54 they spent! This also means I should probably brush my hair before I check the mail box; the gawking celebrity hunters often snap a picture ‘just in case’.
So as you can see living in the coveted Hollywood Hills is not all that it is cracked up to be and you should have a bit of sympathy for those that have to endure it – although the truth is, it is just as fabulous as you suspected. The shimmering swimming pool is the perfect temperature (thanks to the pool guy), the air constantly smells of jasmine (thank you gardeners!) it is bug-free (thank you Mani) and if I forget the milk, Pink Dot deliver!
But I wouldn’t be a true Brit if I didn’t pretend to complain occasionally, or follow it up with a ‘mustn’t grumble’. It goes hand-in-hand with apologizing when someone bumps in to you!
Don’t forget to call your mum this weekend as it is Mothering Sunday in the UK – also make sure to check the traffic reports and road closures, as not only is POTUS in town but we also have the LA Marathon. For all upcoming events visit our website Britsin.LA.
Cheers from my lofty perch…!
Eileen
