By Guest Columnist SANDRO MONETTI
Remember when cinemas used to have ushers who would keep order in the aisles in between serving you a choc ice?
Well, I long for a return to those bygone days because going to the movies lately has become a thoroughly dispiriting and unpleasant experience.
With all the texting, talking, tweeting, streaming, scoffing, snogging and so on that happens – not to mention people putting their feet up on the wseats in front – focusing on the film is almost impossible.
In the absence of “Ursuala the usherette,” audiences are left to police their own screenings for bad behavior – and we all know how that turns out.
Case in point a recent LA showing of Shazam where a guy a few rows in front, who had noisily arrived late, kept the flashlight function of his phone on to make sure his son could see all the feast of take away food he was guzzling in his seat.
When the patience of other moviemakers finally snapped and they politely asked him to turn the distracting bright light off they were met with a volley of abuse.
So too was the callow youth from behind the popcorn counter who was summoned to help when one of the audience members went wandering off to the lobby in search of assistance from a staff member.
The next stage was lots of finger pointing and shouting between the fella with the light and other audience members and soon I’d had enough, left them to their shouting match and went home, figuring I could watch the rest of Shazam there, in comfort, in a couple of months or so.
It’s no wonder movie theatres are under threat. Don’t be fooled into thinking the huge box office numbers for Avengers: Endgame mean everything with the industry is rosy. More and more cinemas are closing all the time – especially the independent ones. The solution is not just comfier seats and more in-seat dining options, the atmosphere of going to the cinema needs to be improved and that means a zero-tolerance policy for the kind of behavior that ruins the experience for others.
If that means bringing back ushers who will sit in during films and ensure everyone is sharing in a fun, safe experience then great – I’ll happily pay an extra couple of dollars for such a nanny state policy.
And while we’re about it let’s make sure standards don’t slip at regular theatres either. Before you ask what does it matter seeing as no one goes to plays in Los Angeles, yes they do. Especially at next month’s Hollywood Fringe Festival where hundreds of productions are currently being prepared (see hollywoodfringe.org for details and to book tickets).
I’m directing and acting in one of them, a stage version of the Marilyn Monroe movie The Seven Year Itch, and will hope and trust the audiences there put their phones away for the duration of the show to enjoy some good old fashioned live entertainment. After all, the play is set in the 1950s when civility was more common and cellphones hadn’t been invented.
Talking of live entertainment, don’t forget you can always find me hosting Brits in LA Pub Quiz each Tuesday at the Cat and Fiddle where to prevent cheating there’s no phone use allowed during the question rounds.
I do hope this call for fair play and civility hasn’t been too much of a rant. It’s just that as someone who loves films and shows, it shouldn’t be too much to ask that we can enjoy them without a few inconsiderate audience members ruining things for the rest of us.
Finally thanks to Craig and Eileen for letting me guest write the column this week and for all they do for us in the Brits in LA community. And three cheers for the new royal baby….
Rule Britannia!
Sandro Monetti
