MY BIGGEST guilty pleasure of 2018 was watching Love Island on British telly, which is why I’m so pleased Season Five has just begun and I can get back to the serious business of watching to see who’ll be “cracking on”, “mugging each other off” and who’s the “fittest and meltiest” of the bunch.
A hot topic on our Facebook feed this week was about dating…okay seriously, how hard can it be? Might be easy for me to say having been shacked up for almost 13 years, engaged for four and married… well watch this space….
Traditionally, boy meets girl, girl meets boy, they fall in love, get married, have kids and live happily ever after, right? I mean that’s what the movies tell us. And of course the very, very few movies where boy meets boy, or girl meets girl and the same story happens. Can’t think of one right now… I guess Hollywood has some catching up to do.
Dating malarkey
But this dating malarkey, why is it so hard for so many of you? I’m referring to one of our members recent posts that read: “Can we talk about how sh!tty dating is in L.A? Where are the decent people?? It garnered almost 500 responses, and here are some of my faves:
“Try getting a couple of cats, they are more loyal”
“Keanu Reeves just did an interview where he literally said he’s lonely… and he lives in LA. Sooooooo….”
” I’d say there are too many “under-educated” wannabees in LA both men & women… All show & no depth! A Mercedes Benz no longer means you are rich, just means you want to look rich & have decent credit :)LA – The land of plastic & BS (men, women & any other inbetween gender)”
Some of us single Brits are still gentlemen…just saying!
“I think it’s hard everywhere, I always wanted my own cowboy.. I ended up with a horse instead”
“It’s a nightmare! Why do people here have so much drama and secrets! And baggage! I just want someone nice who would like to be with one woman not 5!”
“It’s a sad state of affairs”
“There’s a lot of crazy here.”
And…. “It’s difficult”
But why? I’m no dating expert, but mostly I think it has to do with LA being a character of its own. This city is like a tempestuous flame that lures you in with the promise of success, debauchery and sin, fortune and fame. And most of us have bought it. Let’s face it no one truly moves to LA looking for love. They come for job opportunities, seeking the streets paved with gold, waiting to be discovered and become the next Marilyn Monroe or James Dean. Perhaps they get a transfer with work or are already in a relationship…but seldome seldom do people come to LA to find “the one.”
For some it happens right away, or by happenstance, but for most, based on the current feed – it’s a disaster.
I met my fiancé, Michael, the old fashioned way….in a bar. There were just four people in it and I was on a really bad date (quelle surprise) and needed an excuse to get out of it. Cue my meeting the very attractive, Michael smoking outside on the patio. (Filthy habit I know) I actually didn’t smoke but wanted to send a clear message to my smoking-hating date that this was not going to work out. “Can I buy a cigarette from you please” I asked in my OTT Best English AF accent. To which he replied, “No but you can have two.” Mmmmm… Butter!
After a brief exchange I went back to my date and proceeded to tell him how hot I thought THAT guy was. He quickly got the message and he told me that Michael and I sort of looked alike and that it would be like dating (well, he used a slightly different word) myself. I took that as a note that I should most definitely go do that. And the rest they say is HISTORY.
And of course that’s just my story there are probably millions like it. Member BiLA member Sohm Kapila is getting married next week (big shout out to the happy couple!) and she commented “I am marrying my Tinder date next week.”
But perhaps the bigger picture is that people are all too spoilt for choice, what with all the dating apps out there like Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Grindr, etc….and of course the original Match.com – and missed connections on Craigslist. It seems the best way to meet is either through a friend setting you up, or speed dating at a local meet -up. But as Neilen, one of our members suggested “Pursue interests you feel passionate about and find groups that share them. Mainly, get out and about and don’t look online. And until you meet someone special, you’ll be enjoying more of the city!”
It’s been my experience that love will come knocking when you least expect it. In the meantime, when you speak up, we listen and with that in mind we will hold a Brits in LA dating night within the next month. Visit our Facebook group for details as we get them.
In the meantime, chill out, don’t be thirsty and look for the good in all…
Cheers!
Craig
